How dare you!
by LittleMermade
Summary: How will the Avengers deal with the death of their team-mates? Will Natasha finally find some peace at the Barton-home? Part 6 of my Romanogers-Civil-War-AU. R&R :)


**Finally getting closer to the end of this AU. This is part six of seven – it is recommended to read the other parts before returning to this one. Those are taking me so so long (I don't really know why… sry anyway).**

 **The seventh part will be a little different! That means: This part will be the last one actually telling the story of Civil War. This is, at the same time, the first part where I am moving on from the comics.**

 **I know, I'm kind of mean to Tony but that is how I interpret his character. I am also sorry for him at the same time – please keep that in mind.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Civil War and the characters belong to Marvel and Disney**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Natasha's hands were shaking when she fastened up her vintage dress. The black gown had neat, silver buttons on the front and was knee-length. Her eyes were still red from all the tears she had cried and her hair was in a messy bun since she hadn't managed to style it costlier. She needed to try about five times before her cherry red lipstick was okay.

She took a deep breath before leaving the bathroom. When she exited her eyes met the silver-blue eyes of her friend for years. Clint tried a small smile before rising from the bed: „You look good…" Natasha just nodded before taking her bag from the chair in the corner.

They had been staying in an out-of-town hotel overnight since the funeral was already one day after tragedy had struck. S.H.I.E.L.D. had thought it would be better to hold it as soon as possible since there might be people who were after Captain America's blood. Natasha had just nodded and let them do so. The sooner the better. After it, Clint would take her home with him and hopefully she would have some time for herself then.

Clint opened the door and led her to the reception. He did the check-out and the lady at the desk called a taxi for the two of them. Natasha sat down in one of the chairs in the lobby area while Clint preferred to wander around and watch the other guests. A few minutes later the taxi had arrived and they were on their way to church. Natasha was staring out of the window while carefully putting her sunglasses on her nose. It felt wrong that the weather was sunny, bright and warm. It should have been teeming down and awful. That would have been fitting her feelings.

After almost one hour they arrived at the church. Many people were already gathering there. Natasha hesitated. Clint noticed immediately and took her hand. He pulled her out of the cab softly and quickly passed the press and bystanders before they would notice that it was Natasha. The church doors closed behind them with a rattle and they were greeted by the other Avengers and a few people from S.H.I.E.L.D.

Natasha didn't look at anyone besides Clint. She didn't speak or cry. She was just sitting there, waiting for it to be over because the longer it lasted the more difficult it was to suppress the urge to break out in tears. She kept her sunglasses on.

It was all more of a blur than anything else to Natasha. She was too tired and way too unfocused to listen to the priest. Probably he was talking about Sam and Steve and their lives or something like that – she didn't care. Everything important had been said long ago and it was enough for her. It seemed to be wrong that he was talking for short 15 minutes, he wouldn't even scratch the surface. Many things were beyond words – the scent of the pancakes Steve used to make in the morning, the sound of his voice when he was joking around, the kind look in his eyes when he ran his fingers through her red locks, the cold air around them when they rode the motorcycle for hours. It wasn't possible to describe the shape of his lips touching hers, the concern he had for each and every member of the Avengers during missions, the tender touch of his hands when they made love.

None of them wanted to deliver a speech when the priest finished. Some S.H.I.E.L.D.-agents took care of the coffins and the Avengers started to follow to the graveyard. Clint carefully touched Natasha's shoulder and whispered: „Come on. It's time." Natasha didn't look up and slowly bowed her head even more: „No… get me afterward…" Clint hesitated before nodding: „Okay then…" He rose from his seat and followed the others, leaving Nat behind.

She waited a few minutes before slowly looking up. She turned to assure herself that everyone had left the church. She took a deep breath before allowing the tears to run. Slender trails of water were making their ways from her hidden eyes, running down her cheeks and chin. The black fabric of her dress soaked in the small droplets and ended up being colored even darker. The inner side of her sunglasses started to get fogged a little. By inhaling audibly a few times she tried to calm herself down, but she couldn't stop her body from shaking when she continued to sob quietly.

Suddenly Natasha copped a look at a lone red rose. The flower had been left behind by the cortége. On one side its petals were squashed and slightly darker – someone must have stepped on it. Hesitantly Nat stood up and walked over to the spot on the aisle where the remnant of one of the floral wreaths rested. She knelt down and reached out for it. Her hand was still trembling from all the emotion locked away inside her. Softly Nat grabbed the stem of the rose and picked it up. She compressed her lips before speaking up with a hoarse voice: „Seems like we are the only ones left behind…" For a moment she looked at the rose as if waiting for an answer, but soon she shook her head at herself and rose from the floor again carrying the flower with her.

When she felt two eyes lingering on her back she turned around immediately. Natasha slightly relaxed when she saw Clint standing at the door. He started walking towards her and took her unoccupied hand: „It's over… I wish I could tell you that we are going home, but we will have to face the press for about 30 minutes. You don't have to talk to them, I promise." Natasha was looking at Clint, her voice was low: „I… I can't let you deal with it alone. It's not fair." Clint put on a small smile: „Don't think about it. We can do it. Those people don't care about you as a person, Nat. They will ask you very impious things and I don't want you to face that." Natasha squeezed his hand for a moment: „Okay then… let's go." Clint nodded and started walking to the space in front of the church. The police had put up fences to keep the press at bay, about 20 officers next to the platform watching the situation carefully. All the other Avengers were already standing next to each other behind a small platform when Clint dragged Nat along behind him. Natasha wasn't looking at the others, she was surveying the press. The presenters and journalists were jostling and screaming questions at her when she appeared, but that wasn't the thing that Natasha was looking at. Behind all of the camera teams and sensational media were hundreds of people. Most of them were carrying candles and stood in silence respectfully. Nat hadn't realized that she had stopped until Clint was pulling at her hand a little more demanding: „Nat… come on." She quickly returned her attention to the others and followed him stopping next to him at the brink of the line.

Maria Hill eyed Natasha for a moment before stepping to the platform: „Okay… The conference can begin. Please only address the attendants with respect and ask short questions. We don't have a lot of time." When she finished she stepped aside and waited for the press-agents to throw their questions and names at them. She randomly picked one of them and the others stopped screaming to not miss the question. The young lady started talking immediately: „Mr. Storm, will the Fantastic Four come back together after what happened?" Johnny was hesitating for a moment, but then he stepped forward and stopped in front of the microphone. He fixed his blue eyes on the woman: „We have always managed to get along somehow. We will have to talk and we will need time to fix the team, but of course. The world isn't always a safe place and I won't stop being the Human Torch because of what happened. I guess… the new situation is helping us to organize ourselves. It will be worked out somehow, but give it time." The woman nodded and the noise around the press area grew louder again when Johnny stepped back in line, shifting from one foot to another uncomfortably, thinking about what he had just said again.

Hill picked the next reporter to ask a question. He cleared his throat before showing perfectly white teeth: „Mr. Barton, will we get an official statement on the death of Kate Bishop?" Clint faced the ground before taking a deep breath and making his way to the mic. He waited a moment, then faced the press: „No. There will be no more information on Ms. Bishop's death. It was a tragedy and we are all still shaken by it. So please… let the dead rest in peace. It is not necessary to talk about it again." Clint immediately returned to Natasha, although the reporter didn't seem to be satisfied with that answer.

The next question came from a young blonde lady in a short blue dress: „Mr. Barnes, now that we have received a statement from the government that you are in fact not responsible for the assassination on the British ambassador and joining the Avengers: Will you be a permanent part of the team and are the rumors of you taking over as Captain America true?" Bucky's eyes widened when she said that and he clenched both of his fists. Wanda knew that he was about to scream at the young presenter and caressed his human fist with her hand. He calmed down slightly and stepped forward: „In fact, I will be operating under the SRA for justice and peace permanently, yes. I don't know if I can be called a member of the Avengers. And for that last statement of yours: Of course this is fake. It makes me sad and angry that people are making up such things in such a short time", Bucky was biting his bottom lip to keep his anger at bay, but his voice came out intimidating nevertheless, „Is that all Steve was to you?! Some exchangeable guy on a team of superheroes? You have no idea what he meant to every one of us, he was so much more than Captain America. So don't ever talk to me about it again." Bucky shot her one more cold glance before returning to Wanda's side and taking her hand in his.

This time the silence in the ranks of the reporters lasted longer than before, but eventually, the jumble of voices was back. Maria Hill shot a glance at her wristwatch before pointing at one of the people. The man gestured his cameraman to film him while he was asking the question before he started to speak: „Ms. Van Dyne or Mr. Lang, now that the public knows about you, will you join a superhero team or operate as a duo exclusively?" Scott exchanged glances with Hope before she gave him a quick nod and he walked to the mic: „Well… I am here to help, but not as some kind of a part of a permanent team. I signed the SRA… I have to do what I am told, but I won't be some kind of task force member. Same conditions for Hope. My top priority is keeping my daughter save, by the way." He returned to his space in the line when he finished.

Maria waited for a short time then chose someone to ask the next question. The young man raised his voice: „Ms. Romanoff, will you take over as the leader of the New Avengers or will there be a whole different team?" Natasha didn't face the press when Clint sighed and stepped forward: „Ms. Romanoff is not answering any questions. She only attends this panel to support her friends." Without reacting to the now even louder noise coming from the crowd he returned to Nat. Maria tried to calm down the situation by picking another person: „But don't ask anything to Ms. Romanoff, understood?"

The woman nodded before addressing Tony: „Mr. Stark, will there be a different Avengers team now and who will be part of it?" Tony took off his sunglasses and adjusted jacket before stepping forward: „Everyone is part of the SRA now. Technically everyone is on one team now, but we will see how we can benefit from that. I am sure that we will come together again and train together etc. It is tragic that we lost people because of this conflict, but we will be able to stay a team as strong as before." The young reporter spoke up again before Tony could step away: „But… Mr. Wilson had been a core member of the team for years now and Mr. Rogers was the team leader. How will you compensate that?"

Natasha choked back her anger because they were bringing it up again. Tony immediately talked back: „That is, of course, true, but we can't dwell on that for much longer. I am sure there will be work for enhanced people soon and we have to be ready anytime. We will cope with it because we have to and we will remember in order to prevent arguments like that from happening again." At that point, Natasha was close to exploding. She tore away from Clint and walked up to Tony: „You! Stop!" Instantly all of the cameras were pointed at her. Tony turned around in surprise and was met with Natasha's fist hitting his nose head on. He backed away and covered part of his face with one hand, trying to stop the bleeding: „What the hell?!"

Natasha clenched both fists when she screamed at him: „You are acting as if everything was okay again! You don't even care about Steve and Sam and Kate the slightest… you don't care about how much of everything was your fault and yours alone, Stark! You are talking about team building and friendship instead as if it would work out after everything! How dare you stand here and pretend while everything goes to hell! You disgust me! Go fuck yourself and continue, but I am out of here!"

Leaving behind a shocked Tony Stark and a raging audience Natasha spurted back to the church and straight through it leaving the building on the opposite side. The ground on the graveyard was graveled and it was hard for Natasha to make her way with high heels on. She was about to twist her ankle when Clint caught up with her and supported her quickly: „Easy, Nat… it's okay."

Natasha wheeled around: „Are they following…?"

Clint quickly shook his head and pulled her closer: „No. I told them to stay away from you because they'd only make it worse." Natasha nodded and calmed herself down a little. Clint slowly let go of her: „What are you doing?"

Nat sighed: „Saying goodbye before I leave this place." Clint gazed in the direction she was looking and his eyes stuck to the grave. He nodded: „Okay… I will wait by the portal to the church. Come to me when you are ready." Natasha nodded gratefully and made her way to the place where her two fellow Avengers were buried – this time with stronger step. She stopped right in front of the hole in the ground. For a moment she prepared herself, then she looked up at the gravestone. She pressed her lips together when she studied the inscribed on the tombstone.

The only things written were the names and dates of birth and death, nothing else. It was better that way, Natasha thought. There wasn't enough space on the stone to write down all the things Sam and Steve were to everyone. Once again Nat lowered her eyes, looking at the two wooden caskets. It was now that she realized she was still holding the banged-up rose in her hand.

For a long moment she was just contemplating the flower then she dropped it and watched as it hit one casket. For minutes she just stood there and stared down at her rose next to several other flowers. Then she released a shaky breath and turned around. She couldn't be here anymore. The first step away from the grave was the most difficult one. She started walking away slowly heading towards the church. Carefully she eyed the area for the press or the others, she didn't want to see anyone right now. She wanted to simply vanish from this place and never come back here again.

Nat saw Clint leaning on one of the pews. When he heard her heels clopping on the stone floor he looked up and pushed away from the wooden piece. Natasha stopped in front of her friend: „Can we leave now?" Clint nodded briefly: „Yeah… do you want to meet the others again before we go?" Natasha hesitated, but then shook her head: „No… I just want to get away from this place." Clint took her hand and they walked to the back door. Quickly he opened the door to a waiting cab and got in behind Natasha. „Airport", was the only word spoken on that whole ride.

* * *

The off-road vehicle was speeding lonely along the country road. The two passengers were not talking. Natasha was facing the window. Clint was driving. They weren't even sure if it was okay for them to take the quinjet now, so they had settled on an ordinary flight.  
Natasha returned her gaze from the outside world to Clint when the vehicle stopped in front of the farmhouse. He grabbed his car keys and disembarked. Nat got out too and they walked to the front door. Clint carefully unlocked it not to disturb the sleeping kids. The lights in the kitchen and living room were still on and Laura put her book down and rose from the couch when she saw her husband return home safe and soundly.

Clint immediately walked over to his wife and caressed her in his arm: „Why are you still awake?"

Laura cradled him: „How could I sleep with everything happening currently?"

Slowly Clint broke the embrace and kissed her: „Are the kids okay?"

Laura nodded: „Yes… they are fast asleep. Don't worry."

Clint ran his fingers along Laura's cheek to her chin: „That's good…" After a few seconds had passed Laura turned to Natasha and let go of Clint: „Welcome Nat…" Natasha tried a smile: „Thanks for letting me stay with you, Laura." Laura carefully pulled the other woman in her arms: „Anytime… you should get some rest now. You must be tired." Natasha nodded her head yes: „Thanks… good night." She climbed the stairs of the farmhouse and straight to the guest bedroom. She dropped onto the bed like a stone and stared at the wooden ceiling. She was more than ready for this day to finally be over and closed her eyes.

Clint followed his friend with his eyes until she disappeared on top of the stairs. Slowly he looked back over to Laura. The woman's lips turned upwards slightly: „Do you want to go to bed too?" Clint slowly shook his head no: „I wouldn't be able to sleep now, I guess."

Laura pulled him closer again: „Do you want to talk about it?" Clint sighed: „It's just… I don't really know what will happen now. I don't like thinking about it because I'm afraid of it."

After a moment of silence, Laura spoke up again: „Don't worry too much about it. There has to be some kind of a plan behind the new situation. They wouldn't have been able to implement the act if it were that dangerous."

Clint kissed her cheek lightly: „I hope you are right about this." Laura smiled: „I am your wife. I'm always right about things." Clint smiled and took her hand: „That is true… come on. I don't want to force you to stay awake any longer."

* * *

It was night at Stark Tower. It had been a week since the funeral, but Tony still had problems sleeping. His lonely frame was illuminated by the city lights outside the window. The inventor leaned onto the pillar closest to him. He didn't look outside but instead stared at the Iron-Man-helmet in his right hand. It was just a piece of metal, it couldn't give him the answers he was so desperately looking for.

Did he do this?

Is he the one to blame for the death of his friends?

Should he find Natasha and talk to her?

Tony sighed and put the helmet down on the counter. He started chewing on his lip and whispered: „F.R.I.D.A.Y. please turn on the TV."

The AI responded with a 'Yes, sir' and activated the device. Tony dropped down into an armchair and stared at the screen. Maybe this would help him sleep – at least for a while. One of those late-night-shows was running up and down the most popular channel. They were talking about the SRA and the birth of another royal baby in the UK as if it was one and the same thing, as if both topics were equally relevant to the people of the USA. Tony sighed and he felt the sudden urge to pour himself a glass of whiskey once again. He remained sitting in the armchair instead.

Finally, they were focusing on the history of names in the royal family and that allowed Tony to slowly drift into sleep. That ease, however, didn't last too long. The same voice that had haunted his thoughts, awake and asleep, for the past week spoke up again. It was Steve's voice. The last conversation Tony had had with his former ally was there to stay.

 _That Sam is maybe the first victim of your SRA, but clearly not the last._

He had been painfully right in that moment. As if he had known as if he had mocked the other man for what was about to happen. Tony's eyes flickered open.

 _Tony… I don't blame you, but I don't want to discuss with you any longer, okay?_

Tony buried his face in his hands. Steve didn't blame him, he had said. Natasha clearly did, however. Maybe it would get better from now on. The act had been active longer than a week now already and for the New Avengers life started going on. Slowly and painfully, but somehow everything kept going. The world didn't stop turning and they needed to concentrate on the future – like he had told the press at the funeral. Although he was right, he understood that this would upset Natasha when her wound was so fresh.

He would talk to the assassin. Not right now, but soon. Yes, maybe tomorrow, maybe this week but he would call Natasha.

* * *

 _Three weeks later_

It was about 2 A.M. and the Barton home was silent. Its residents were sound asleep and it was dark. What the people sleeping in their beds didn't notice were the dark figures lurking in the fields near the house. One of them fidgeted around with a notebook checking their location. His Russian accent was thick in his whisper: „Boss, this is the right location."

The addressed man didn't turn around to face his minion. The KGB-symbol on his sleeve was clearly visible in the soft light of the display of his phone as he spoke up: „Then do it already… We have waited for this too long."

The other man put the tablet away and looked at the others who were with them. He nodded and they walked closer, all of them lighting torches placing them all around the house. It hadn't rained for weeks in that area so it didn't take long at all for the dry plants and wood to catch fire.

Natasha was the first one to wake. At that time it was already too late. With all of the bedrooms on the first and second floors, the fire already inhabited large parts of the ground level. When the assassin noticed the smoke creeping up between the planks of the floor she jumped out of bed immediately. As she reached the hallway Clint stumbled out of the bedroom as well holding his wife close. Clint eyed Natasha to see if she was injured briefly.

He let go of Laura and made his way to the stairway leading upstairs while talking: „Nat… wake Cooper, wait up for Lila! I'll go get Nate and we meet up outside."

Natasha nodded and came rushing into Cooper's room, which was on the first floor as well. She shook the boy awake and dragged him along quickly. When she reached Laura again little Lila was running down the stairs clinging to her stuffed bunny for dear life.

Natasha helped the three Barton family members down the last set of stairs where they were greeted by the flames already.

The kitchen was in flames and the living area started catching fire too. Nat raised her voice as she spoke: „Get out of the door quickly!" She managed to get all of them outside before the flames started getting higher and formed a wall, blocking the door. But Clint was nowhere to be seen yet.

As soon as he had sent his daughter downstairs Clint ran to his youngest's room. Nathaniel was already awake in his crib crying. Clint grabbed him and started getting out of there again: „It's okay, baby… we are getting out of here." He ran down the stairs as quick as possible and went for the door holding Nate closely, so he wouldn't feel the heat on his skin. Right before he reached the door the ceiling starting crashing down. The wooden beams were ablaze since they caught fire easier. Instantaneously Clint turned on his heel but he was greeted by another wall of flames. The falling beam swung forward, knocking him down and pinning his foot down. Nathaniel started crying again. Desperately Clint tried to break free, but his clothes caught on fire slowly and his hands got burned when he tried lifting the glowing beam.

Natasha was trying to calm Laura down but was too nervous to succeed herself. Cooper stared at the house as the flames started eating up the first story of the house he had lived in since he had been born. He heard the women talking and looked at Lila briefly. His sister was sobbing quietly and tears were running down her cheeks. Her stuffed animal pressed tightly to her chest. Cooper took a deep breath, then he started running. Natasha saw him first and started following the kid who was already halfway to the burning house screaming his name at the top of her lungs. This was really, really bad.

Natasha got closer to the boy but the 12-year-old reached the flames first. parts of the walls had already fallen apart and the kid spotted a gap where the flames weren't so strong. He quickly ran inside the house but stopped immediately not able to prevent the horrified scream escaping his mouth. Clint heard him and immediately looked up. The pain in his voice was obvious: „My God, Cooper… Get out of here!"

The boy was paralyzed and kept standing still. Nat now made her way through the gap as well and ran over to help Clint. Clint was visibly relieved to see her and shook his head: „Get the boys out of here first!" Nat eyed the flames climbing up Clint's leg. She knew if she left now she left him to die. She shook her head and grabbed the crying two-year-old next to her friend. She handed the baby over to Cooper: „Listen, deary! Hold your brother close and run back to Laura! I'll get your daddy out of here."

Cooper's eyes flickered from Clint over to Nat. He nodded quickly and ran away with Nate. Natasha checked if they made it through the hole before dropping down next to Clint. Another one of the beams started falling down next to them. Stressed out Nat looked around for something to lift the beam up from Clint's leg, but everything seemed to be aflame.

Clint's voice was weaker than before and it was hard for him to hide the pain: „Nat… tell Laura… tell her…"

The redhead interrupted him immediately: „NO! Don't you dare say it! You are not going to die, not you too!" She saw the broom sitting under the couch and immediately saved it from the flames. The item of furniture had protected the broomstick from the worst of the fire and Nat started pushing the beam with it immediately.

Right as Clint started coughing the beam rolled off and freed the man's leg. Nat didn't care about her cardigan all too much and removed it right away. She asphyxiated the flames on Clint's leg and back with the piece of clothing and helped him up: „Listen! You have to work with me and stay awake… only until we are out of here…"

Clint managed a weak smile, but it immediately faded into a grimace of pain: „Deal…"

It took her about two minutes to find another gap because the one where she had entered was gone now, but they managed to get out where another beam had just fallen and created a hole.

It took the rescue helicopter about ten minutes to arrive at the location and another 15 to get to the closest hospital.

It took about 12 minutes for the painkillers to operate.

It took the doctors an hour to work on Clint's skin and fix huge parts of it.

It would take the wounds two months to heal.

It would take the scars a lifetime to vanish. They would always stay to remind the Barton family of the day they had almost lost Clint.

Laura sat next to the bed crying. Everything was gone. Their home was reduced to nothing but ashes. They were alive, they would move on. But the damage was done.

Nat hesitated, but she called Sharon Carter soon after she had talked to Clint. The agent checked on the government's database of superhumans for her. They claimed it was safe. – It wasn't.

They wouldn't have been able to see if there had been an attack on the database if the data-thieves hadn't left their mark. Clint's file now started with the words: „Better not steal our spiders away. This is what you get."

Natasha replaced Laura by Clint's bedside so the other woman could make some arrangements. The two assassins talked. No matter how often Clint would tell his friend no Nat would always tell him that it was necessary. They talked about everything. About Warsaw and Siberia, about Ontario and Brazil. They laughed and cried. They even talked about Budapest. After four hours Clint fell asleep. Natasha rose from her chair. A tear escaped her eye when she looked down at her friend, as her heart broke.

She had entered the archer's life quietly, stalking him a knife in hand, ready to kill him. Now she would see him for the last time ever. Leaving the room quietly – this time without a knife, the doubts whether she was doing the right thing killing her on the inside, clouding her mind.

Nat stopped right before her hand touched the doorknob. The urge to turn around was overwhelming, but she resisted. She stayed strong. With her shaking hand, she grabbed the knob and turned it. Walking away from the room, away from the hospital. She knew there was a ferry for her to catch.

When Bucky and Wanda arrived along with Tony in the quinjet the next day there was no trace of Nat. No one knew where she had gone. The cameras had lost her near the port. Clint never said a word when they asked him.

 **Finally, thank God! Let me know what you think if you want. :)**


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